The Covenant Of Two Becoming One – Rt. Rev. Dr Michael A. Fẹ́mi-Adébánjọ

*THE COVENANT OF TWO BECOMING ONE*
*_– A Biblical Blueprint for Authentic Relationships_*
RT. REV. MICHAEL A. FẸ́MI-ADÉBÁNJỌ, Ph.D. Theology (Religious Major).

www.evangelion-tm.com/the-covenant-of-two-becoming-one-rt-rev-dr-michael-a-femi-adebanjo/

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*The Mystery of Divine Love*

Picture this extraordinary scene from Genesis 2:21-25 (NKJV): *_“And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”_*

Beloved and trusted Confidantes, observe the breath-taking intimacy of this moment! God performs the first surgery, not in a sterile hospital, but in a perfect garden of love, Eden. He did not create woman from dust like Adam, but from Adam’s very essence—his rib, closest to his heart. When Adam awakens and sees her, his response isn’t casual observation but explosive poetry: *_“This is NOW bone of my bones!”_* The Hebrew suggests overwhelming joy, as if he’s saying, “Finally! Here is someone who truly understands me!”

This divine narrative reveals three revolutionary truths that will transform every relationship in this forum:

*First:* Relationships are God’s idea, not human invention.
*Second:* True intimacy requires vulnerability without shame.
*Third:* Unity doesn’t eliminate individuality but celebrates complementarity.

*_Welcome to a journey that will revolutionise how you view singleness, dating, engagement, and marriage!_*

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*PART I: THE FOUNDATION – UNDERSTANDING GOD’S DESIGN*

*The Sacred Architecture of Relationships*

Thank you for your trust, which makes you to read this piece. Let us continue the seminar, carrying forward the theme of a Go-To Destination for Relationships and Problem-Solving. May these insights equip our COUPLES AND SINGLES FORUM to shepherd hearts with clarity, grace, and biblical fidelity, ìn Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Before God created Eve, He declared, *_“It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him”_* (Genesis 2:18, NKJV). Notice God’s assessment—this is the first time in creation He says something is *_“not good.”_* Why? *_Because relationship reflects the very nature of our triune God._*

The Hebrew word for “helper” (*ezer*) isn’t suggesting inferiority but strength that comes alongside. It’s the same word used for God Himself as our helper (Psalm 46:1). *_Eve wasn’t Adam’s assistant; she was his equal partner,_* bringing complementary strengths to their union.

*The Single Season: Preparation for Purpose*

For our precious singles, understand this profound truth: your season of singleness isn’t a waiting room for real life—it’s a preparation chamber for greatness! Jesus Himself modelled the beauty of purposeful singleness. In 1 Corinthians 7:7-8 (NKJV), Paul writes: *_“For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am.”_*

Singleness is a gift that offers:
– *_Undivided devotion_* to God (1 Corinthians 7:35)
– *_Freedom for ministry_* without family constraints.
– *_Personal development_* in character and calling
– *_Preparation_* for potential partnership.

*_Do not waste this sacred season wishing it away. Maximise it!_*

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*PART II: THE JOURNEY – NAVIGATING DATING AND COURTSHIP*

*Biblical Dating vs. Cultural Confusion*

Modern dating culture often promotes casual relationships, physical intimacy without commitment, and shopping for partners like commodities. Scripture presents a radically different model: purposeful pursuit leading to covenant commitment.

Consider Isaac and Rebekah’s story (Genesis 24). Abraham’s servant didn’t seek the most beautiful or entertaining woman, but one who demonstrated character, kindness, and faith. When Rebekah offered water not only to him but to his camels—requiring drawing perhaps 300 gallons of water—she revealed her servant’s heart and work ethic.

*Biblical dating principles:*

1. *Seek character over chemistry* –

*_“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised”_*. Proverbs 31:30

The verse emphasises that while superficial qualities like mid-bowing seductive figures, charm and beauty are temporary, a woman’s true praise comes from her reverent fear of the Lord and the godly character that stems from it. ❤️

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2) *Seek Covenant Over Convenience.*

– The lie many encounter: “If it’s easy and immediately joyful, it’s God-ordained.”
– *_The truth: Covenant love grows through commitment, sacrifice, and perseverance, often beyond your “love at first-sight” or initial feelings._* ❤️
– Scriptural anchor: Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NKJV; 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NKJV.
– Practical takeaways:
– Prioritise shared faith, life goals, and kingdom purpose over surface chemistry.
– Test long-term viability by discussing finances, family expectations, and spiritual disciplines.
– Develop a covenant framework: premarital agreements that honour God, not merely convenience.

3) *_Boundaries, Purity, and Holiness._*

– The lie: Boundaries limit freedom; true love means freedom to explore everything.
– *_The truth: Boundaries are liberating safeguards that protect intimacy, integrity, and trust._* ❤️
– Scriptural anchor: 2 Timothy 2:22 NKJV; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 NKJV; Song of Solomon 8:4 NKJV.
– Practical takeaways:
– Establish physical and emotional boundaries early; revisit them together regularly.
– Create accountable relationships—mentors, friends, or a counsel group who can speak truth.
– Practice practical discipline: modesty, time apart, accountability in digital life.

4) *_The Power of Communication and Transparency._*

– The lie: Honest conversations derail romance; silence preserves romance.
– *_The truth: Jesus commends transparent communication founded on truth and love._* ❤️ (Ephesians 4:15 NKJV).
– Scriptural anchor: James 1:19 NKJV; Proverbs 27:5-6 NKJV.
– Practical takeaways:
– Set up regular “heart-to-heart” check-ins; practice active listening.
– Learn to speak truth with grace; discern when to address concerns and when to wait on God.
– Address expectations early: roles, boundaries, callings, and family plans.

5) *_Prayer, Discernment, and Spiritual Grounding_*

– The lie: You can navigate romance with human wisdom alone.
– *_The truth: Prayerful discernment invites the Holy Spirit into every choice, aligning hearts with God’s purposes._* ❤️
– Scriptural anchor: Psalm 37:4 NKJV; James 1:5 NKJV; Philippians 4:6-7 NKJV.
– Practical takeaways:
– Begin relationships with a season of prayer; invite trusted elders to intercede with you.
– Seek alignment with Scripture rather than mere sentiment; measure choices by faithfulness to God’s Word.
– When uncertain, pause: seek counsel, fast, and wait for pastoral confirmation.

6) *The Role of Community and Covenant Friends.*

– The lie: A couple’s journey is a private enclave away from the body.
– *_The truth: Community accountability strengthens faithfulness, protects against isolation, and models healthy relationships._* ❤️
– Scriptural anchor: Hebrews 10:24-25 NKJV; Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NKJV.
– Practical takeaways:
– Build a circle of mature, Spirit-filled friends who can witness the relationship.
– Invite feedback and correction with humility; respond with teachability.
– Engage in couple-focused ministries: mentoring, small groups, or couples’ study circles.

7) *Singleness Matters: Giftedness and Purpose.*

– The lie: Singleness is a lack; marriage is the ultimate destiny.
– ❤️ *_The truth: Singleness is a sacred gift and a season for unique kingdom service_* (1 Corinthians 7:7-8 NKJV; 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 NKJV).
– Scriptural anchor: 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 NKJV; Matthew 19:10-12 NKJV.
– Practical takeaways:
– Encourage singles to develop gifts, service, and leadership within the body.
– Remind both singles and couples that God uses all seasons for growth and fruitfulness.
– Provide clear pathways for singles to contribute to ministry and community life.

8) *The Covenant Path: Engagement, Preparation, and Holy Matrimony*

– The lie: Engagement is primarily a countdown to marriage; preparation is optional.
– *_The truth: Engagement is a sacred, intentional journey toward covenant; preparation includes practical and spiritual readiness._* ❤️
– Scriptural anchor: Ephesians 5:31-32 NKJV; 2 Corinthians 6:14 NKJV.
– Practical takeaways:
– Develop a premarital curriculum with spiritual and practical modules: finances, sex in marriage, parenting, conflict resolution, spiritual disciplines.
– Involve mentors who model biblical marriage; invite accountability and ongoing discipleship.
– Foster shared mission as a couple—how you will serve in the church and the world.

9) *Covenant Community: Vision for Marriage as a Witness*

– The lie: Personal happiness is the primary goal of marriage.
– ❤️ *_The truth: Marriage is a living signpost of Christ’s relationship with His church—love, sanctification,, and mission._* (Ephesians 5:25-27 NKJV).
– Scriptural anchor: Ephesians 5:25-33 NKJV; Colossians 3:14 NKJV.
– Practical takeaways:
– Encourage couples to lead by service and sacrificial love in the church.
– Promote a culture of forgiveness, restoration, and reconciliation.
– Celebrate stories of redemption and growth within the community to encourage others.

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*PART III: PROBLEM-SOLVING FRAMEWORK FOR RELATIONSHIPS*

*_A. Identifying the Core Issue._*

– Begin with prayer and Scripture to identify the real root of the issue (e.g., trust, communication, boundary violations, or misaligned expectations about major matters).
– Use a simple diagnostic: What is the longing? What is the fear? What is the behaviour revealing?

*_B. Biblical Problem-Solving Steps._*

1) Define the Chief Concern (Proverbs 18:13 NKJV).
2) Gather Godly Counsel (Proverbs 15:22 NKJV).
3) Seek Gentle Truth with Grace (Ephesians 4:15 NKJV).
4) Implement Practical Steps (James 2:17 NKJV).
5) Reassess and Recalibrate (Psalm 37:23 NKJV).

*_C. Quick-Response Protocols for Common Scenarios._*

– Communication gaps: Schedule a guided conversation with a mediator if needed; practice “mirroring” to ensure understanding.
– Boundary breaches: Re-establish boundaries with accountability; pause romantic progression if required.
– Trust erosion: Rebuild trust through transparency, consistent behaviour, and time.

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*PART IV: LIVING OUT THE COVENANT DAILY*

*_A. Daily Habits for Couples and Singles._*

– Personal devotion and mutual prayer, shared worship, and mutual encouragement.
– Honest maintenance of emotional intimacy—cultivating vulnerability without shame.
– Regular service together—ministry activities that unite rather than divide.

*_B. Community Rituals._*

– Couple’s covenant nights – including leisure and enjoyment of sex; singles’ spiritual growth cohorts.
– Guest mentors and periodic retreats to refresh and renew spiritual focus.
– Study plans that blend doctrinal depth with practical application.

*_C. Technology and Digital Disciplines._*

– Guarding digital boundaries; safeguarding online interactions and friendships.
– Using technology for connection, study, and ministry, not distraction.
– Promoting digital purity and wise consumption of media and entertainment.

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*CONCLUSION: A LIVING PLEDGE*

In the light of Genesis 2:24 (NKJV), *_“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh,”_* this forum proclaims that relationships are not merely personal matters but divine callings. Our aim is to equip singles for purposeful service, to prepare couples for holy covenant and intimate relationships, and to sustain a church culture where God’s intent for relationship is celebrated, protected, and lived out in everyday life.

May the Spirit grant grace for unity, courage for honesty, wisdom for discernment, and perseverance for love. May this platform be a beacon where relationships are formed in the image of Christ and problems are solved with the wisdom of God.

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*BIBLIOGRAPHY*

*_Primary Sources_*
– Holy Bible, New King James Version. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1982.
– The Greek New Testament. 28th Edition. Stuttgart: Deutsche Bibelgesellschaft, 2012.

*Commentaries and Exegetical Works*

– Barrett, C. K. *_The Gospel According to St. John: An Introduction with Commentary and Notes on the Greek Text. 2nd ed._* Philadelphia: Westminster Press, 1978.

– Beasley-Murray, George R. John. *_Word Biblical Commentary_* 36. Waco: Word Books, 1987.

– Bruce, F. F. *_The Gospel of John: Introduction, Exposition and Notes._* Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1983.

– Carson, D. A. *_The Gospel According to John. The Pillar New Testament Commentary._* Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1991.

– Hendriksen, William. *_Exposition of the Gospel According to John. New Testament Commentary._* Grand Rapids: Baker Academic, 1953.

– Keener, Craig S. *_The Gospel of John: A Commentary. 2 vols._* Peabody: Hendrickson Publishers, 2003.

– Tenney, Merrill C. *_John: The Gospel of Belief._* Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1976.

*Theological and Devotional Works*

– Chambers, Oswald. *_My Utmost for His Highest. Updated ed._* Grand Rapids: Discovery House, 1992.

– Lloyd-Jones, D. Martyn. *_Life in the Spirit in Marriage, Home and Work._* Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1974.

– MacArthur, John. *_Abiding in Christ._* Chicago: Moody Press, 1993.

– Murray, Andrew. *_Abide in Christ._* New Kensington: Whitaker House, 1979.

– Packer, J. I. *_Knowing God._* Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 1973.

– Pink, Arthur W. *_The Seven Sayings of the Saviour on the Cross._* Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1958.

– Spurgeon, Charles H. *_The Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit._* Vol. 47. London: Passmore & Alabaster, 1901.

– Tozer, A. W. *_The Pursuit of God_*. Chicago: Moody Press, 1948.

*Lexical and Reference Works.*

– Arndt, William, Frederick W. Danker, and Walter Bauer. *_A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature._* 3rd ed. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2000.

– Brown, Colin, ed. *_The New International Dictionary of New Testament Theology_*. 4 vols. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1975–1985.

– Kittel, Gerhard, and Gerhard Friedrich, eds. *_Theological Dictionary of the New Testament. Translated by Geoffrey W. Bromiley_*. 10 vols. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1964–1976.

– Strong, James. *_Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible_*. Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1890.

– Thayer, Joseph Henry. *_A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament._* New York: American Book Company, 1889.

– Vine, W. E. *_Vine’s Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words._* McLean: MacDonald Publishing, 1989.

*Historical and Cultural Studies*

– Jeremias, Joachim. *_The Parables of Jesus._* Revised ed. New York: Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1963.

– Keener, Craig S. *_The IVP Bible Background Commentary: New Testament._* 2nd ed. Downers Grove: IVP Academic, 2014.

– Malina, Bruce J., and Richard L. Rohrbaugh. *_Social-Science Commentary on the Gospel of John_*. Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 1998.

– Tenney, Merrill C. *_New Testament Survey. Revised ed._* Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1985.

– Wright, N. T. *_The New Testament and the People of God. Christian Origins and the Question of God,_* Vol. 1. Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 1992.

*Systematic Theology and Doctrinal Works*

– Berkhof, Louis. *_Systematic Theology. 4th ed._* Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1949.

– Chafer, Lewis Sperry. *_Systematic Theology. 8 vols._* Dallas: Dallas Seminary Press, 1947–1948.

– Grudem, Wayne. *_Systematic Theology: An Introduction to Biblical Doctrine._* Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1994.

– Hodge, Charles. *_Systematic Theology. 3 vols._* Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1940.

– MacArthur, John, and Richard Mayhue, eds. *_Biblical Doctrine: A Systematic Summary of Bible Truth._* Wheaton: Crossway, 2017.

– Thiessen, Henry C. *_Lectures in Systematic Theology_*. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1979.

*Spiritual Formation and Mystical Theology*

– à Kempis, Thomas. *_The Imitation of Christ._* Translated by Leo Sherley-Price. London: Penguin Classics, 1952.

– Brother Lawrence. *_The Practice of the Presence of God._* New Kensington: Whitaker House, 1982.

– Foster, Richard J. *_Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth_*. San Francisco: HarperSan Francisco, 1992.

– Nouwen, Henri J. M. *_The Return of the Prodigal Son._* New York: Doubleday, 1992.

– Willard, Dallas. *_The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God._* San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1998.

*Church History and Patristic Sources*

– Augustine. *_Tractates on the Gospel of John._* Translated by John W. Rettig. The Fathers of the Church, Vol. 78–79. Washington, DC: Catholic University of America Press, 1988–1993.

– Chrysostom, John. *_Homilies on the Gospel of John._* Translated by Sister Thomas Aquinas Goggin. The Fathers of the Church, Vol. 33–34. New York: Fathers of the Church, 1957–1960.

– González, Justo L. *_The Story of Christianity._* 2 vols. San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1984–1985.

– McGrath, Alister E. *_Christian Theology: An Introduction. 6th ed._* Oxford: Wiley-Blackwell, 2017.

– Pelikan, Jaroslav. *_The Christian Tradition: A History of the Development of Doctrine._* 5 vols. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1971–1989.

*Homiletical and Pastoral Resources*

– Chapell, Bryan. *_Christ-Centered Preaching: Redeeming the Expository Sermon._* 3rd ed. Grand Rapids: Baker Academic, 2018.

– Lloyd-Jones, D. Martyn. *_Preaching and Preachers._* Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1971.

– Robinson, Haddon W. *_Biblical Preaching: The Development and Delivery of Expository Messages_*. 3rd ed. Grand Rapids: Baker Academic, 2014.

– Stott, John R. W. *_Between Two Worlds: The Challenge of Preaching Today._* Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1982.

*Biblical Theology and Hermeneutics*

– Fee, Gordon D., and Douglas Stuart. *_How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth_*. 4th ed. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2014.

– Kaiser, Walter C., Jr. *_Toward an Exegetical Theology: Biblical Exegesis for Preaching and Teaching_*. Grand Rapids: Baker Academic, 1981.

– Osborne, Grant R. *_The Hermeneutical Spiral: A Comprehensive Introduction to Biblical Interpretation._* 2nd ed. Downers Grove: IVP Academic, 2006.

– Vanhoozer, Kevin J. *_Is There a Meaning in This Text? The Bible, the Reader, and the Morality of Literary Knowledge._* Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1998.

*Christology and Johannine Studies*

– Burge, Gary M. *_The Anointed Community: The Holy Spirit in the Johannine Tradition._* Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1987.

– Culpepper, R. Alan. *_Anatomy of the Fourth Gospel: A Study in Literary Design._* Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1983.

– Köstenberger, Andreas J. *_A Theology of John’s Gospel and Letters._* Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2009.

– Lincoln, Andrew T. *_The Gospel According to Saint John._* London: Continuum, 2005.

– Thompson, Marianne Meye. *_The God of the Gospel of John._* Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2001.

*Contemporary Applications and Ministry*

– Blackaby, Henry T., and Claude V. King. *_Experiencing God: How to Live the Full Adventure of Knowing and Doing the Will of God._* Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 1994.

– Manning, Brennan. *_The Ragamuffin Gospel._* Sisters: Multnomah, 1990.

– MacArthur, John. *_The Book on Leadership._* Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2004.

– Spurgeon, Charles H. *_Lectures to My Students._* Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1954.

– Wright, N. T. Simply Jesus: *_A New Vision of Who He Was, What He Did, and Why He Matters._* San Francisco: HarperOne, 2011.

*Electronic Resources and Digital Tools*

– Bible Gateway. https://www.biblegateway.com. Accessed September 2025.

– Blue Letter Bible. https://www.blueletterbible.org. Accessed September 2025.

– Logos Bible Software. Bellingham: Faithlife Corporation, 2025.

– NET Bible. Biblical Studies Press, 2019. https://netbible.com.

– StudyLight.org. https://www.studylight.org. Accessed September 2025.